Don’t banish me from this place. I knew little of your ways, and yet, I tried so hard to please you. I wanted to make you see that I was capable of being strong. That I could do as you asked. I meant to kill the girl, but she begged me to stop. The knife was already in her stomach, and yet, I froze before her.
I wish you could understand how I felt in that moment. I was torn at every edge; I felt grief and weakness. I know she hurt you, I know she was beyond repair, and yet, I couldn’t finish the job.
Please don’t banish me from this place. I’ve struggled for so long to be a part of something great. I will not fail again.
But, what? You can’t allow me in?
I feel that we’ve been misunderstanding one another for too long.
Yes, I know you aren’t playing a game.
But what can I do if you won’t allow me to correct my mistakes?
Leave? I cannot leave this way. I am certain that I can reconcile the problems I have created. Let me show you.
Do you see the sky above? The way the clouds envelope the horizon with pleating streaks of steel? Do you see the rain in the distance, falling heavily, no relief? I will bring that storm to your land. I will inflict the light upon every being you wish to protect.
No fear, you say. Wait. Just wait.